I am really not very good with departing words.... but today... I had to say something... to help heal the wounds upon me and hopefully to my friends who were also very close to her.
Last night I lost a dear friend. A friend whom has given me so much both tangible and emotional, even though I have only known her for two years, it feels like I have known her for a lifetime. I only heard about it today at work, and it has left me shaken and deeply hurt.
She was a beautiful soul, who gave a lot to those who were close to her. She was close to my age, an artist, a fellow role player, independent, and strong.
But no matter how strong we are, we are not invincible. She lost her life to a car accident... only a block away from her home. I couldn't believe what I heard, I thought it was a twisted joke to make me worry over nothing, that my eyes were playing tricks on me as it read the dreaded words of her passing from her roommate.
Life is never kind... even to those who don't deserve it. And when a life you have grown to love and want to protect is stripped from you, you feel as if you're a guardian with no more purpose. A protector who has failed... even though they are hundred to thousand miles away. That's one of the reasons why I don't like reality... where I wish there was a way to revive someone completely, a way to teleport to those who need you. But... it cannot be so.
All I want to say is... I will not despair, I shall not let the sadness swallow me up like a monster in the moonless night. For my father has always said, "Do not grieve for those you have lost, but instead celebrate and remember the times that you had with them." And that's what I will do. I will keep the things she has given to me close to my heart. I will not bottle up the sadness but let the tears flow until it is easier to cope.
I will allow myself to feel sad about her passing, but slowly remembering the good times to replace the sorrow until the wounds heal into scars. She has a special place already in my Moonfire comic, and whenever I draw her character I will remember her loving soul. I will be sad that she won't be able to read the story anymore, but I pray to God that one day I will see her again. Who knows.... she might even read the story in spirit. So I shall take the rest of this week in grieving, no comic update. I am sorry, but please allow me this time to mourn and heal.
, fare thee well dear Jane.... until we meet again.